The Party Don't Start Till I Walk In
 

So your friend is getting married and you want to make sure she has the time of her life? I got you. I will gladly go out with you and your girls and keep the energy at 110% whether on or off the dancefloor (seriously, try to out dance me... or out fuck me... or out fun me). I will also make sure that every one is safe from creepers, drinking enough water, get drinks for y'all, bring earplugs, keep everyone together and make sure everyone makes it home safely. Once home, I will gladly put on a show for y'all. Slow and sultry, I'll get the bride going with a little boy-lesque. I'll make sure she does at least a few things that will be good stories years later (when the husband is out of the room). I am a sex educator and performer (over a decade of experience leading sexual events) and can put on a workshop or a live performance. And if, just if, you are all well behaved, I might just give every one who needs it a nice nightcap to sleep well....with my tongue. Even that person no one likes (including the bride) but they have been friends for so long so she got the invite. Maybe she will be less annoying then...